Feeling Isolated

This week hasn’t been a very good one, school-wise. I’ve just been really fed up with not hearing anyone. I go to a 6th form at a state school and I’m the only profoundly deaf person there. I’m new to year 12, among other new people, despite the fact that I’ve been there since 3rd September I haven’t managed to make friends properly. One of the things about being deaf is that I rely heavily on lip reading, all these new faces…I can’t understand their lip patterns! Because very few people are deaf aware they don’t know to face me or not cover their mouth with their hands when talking, or talking in noisy corridors and even lessons. I can’t get into the conversations that other people are having, so I come across as shy and quiet…not how I wanted to be perceived because its not really me at all!

The other new people (5 of which are in my form) seem to have settled in quickly, I know one of them struggled for the first month but she’s fine now and has friends. Everyone has little social circles, I don’t know who to go to, there’s hundreds of people in my year group.

I did a presentation to the whole year in early September to spread deaf awareness, very nerve wrecking but I managed to show my personality more as people were actually listening and I even got some laughs 🙂 It was actually successful and I was happy, people were directly including me in conversations, writing stuff down and repeating things, but it only lasted a week haha. I think everyone’s just forgotten about it all I try not to let myself think that they might actually just not care or be bothered enough anymore.

Basically just feeling excluded and a bit lonely at school…maybe it will look up soon! Sorry for such a drab post, but I do think that people should know about this stuff that deaf people go through, it’s definitely not just me who feels this way! I actually don’t know any other deaf people, my family is hearing and I’ve always gone to a hearing school. Its times like this that if somebody were to ask me ‘if you could take a pill and you’d not be deaf anymore, would you take it?’ I’d say yes, yes, yes pleeease!

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